Wow.....thats hard. One one hand you love your husband and he is a good father. After all.....he is a victim too.
On the other hand, what he believes is right, is going to hurt the kids (most likely), in the long run.
the thing that confounds me is that you are not baptized. So he marreid an unbaptized woman. Clearly he has a bit of a disobedient streak. Is it possible while trying to have a discussion about balance, that he would agree to "study" your doubts and misgivings?
It seems like a shame that you two are so open with each other, but unable to really get into it. It is so rare to even have the opportunity. I tell people all the time if my wife left.....anyone can.
I'm glad its a last resort, but a divided household with an uber-JW......that sounds like a fresh hell. Especially as you totally fade and the hall starts badmouthing you and your choices (marks mommy......thats happening btw).